June 2004 Report to Friends and Family
Kids Arrive in Virginia

The “kids,” Dixie (age 87) and Hiram (age 88), arrived in Virginia in April. There were still some punch- list items to be finished in the house addition, but we had a roof, heating and cooling, and square footage for three inhabitants completed. We decided to drive rather than try to deal with flying, so I rented a big, old folks car and we ended up driving straight through. About 14 hours since we stopped frequently…

As we left St. Louis, we had a wonderful send-off. At 7 am, our driveway filled with cars and dear friends from Barbershoppers arrived to sing Mother and Dad on their way.

The Guys in the "Pick-up" Quartet

The fellows in the quartet and spouse Ann Hall had been instrumental in allowing Mother and Day to live independently while I got ready to receive the kids. Ray Anspaugh was Dad’s golf partner and most frequent driver to Lansing for appointments with specialists, though all four plus their spouses had helped on occasions. Ken Smith, a college science teacher, helped save Dad’s remaining eyesight in 2001 by taking him to see an optometrist, who was one of Ken’s former students. Grant Colthorp arrived at the dry cleaners more than 50 years ago as a scrawny teenager looking for a job; Dad and Grant developed a father-son bond that has lasted through the years. And, Jim “Doc” Hall regularly and routinely saved my Dad’s life over the last few years, including a bout with double pneumonia in January, 2004. Such wonderful friends and a melancholy goodbye…

My father cried most of the 50 miles to Lansing. I was so happy to finally have them coming to stay with me and his sense of loss was so tremendously painful. Getting old is just not easy. For independent souls, old age seems to attack while they are doing their thing and minding their own business. Healthy and vital until the last two years, his health spiralled down so quickly.

Week one in Virginia was dedicated to connecting with new physicians. Toward the end of 2003, Dr. Hall noticed Dad’s blood counts heading into dangerous ground. Along with Grave’s disease, he now has myelodisplastic syndrome, which makes him highly susceptible to infection and which the NIH website calls “smoldering” leukemia.

The second week, I went back to Michigan to load the moving van. Our Michigan neighbors, Deb and Dave Zimmerman, are buying the house, and they are also doing the auction of the remaining contents in the house. Dave says Dad helped him get a job early on that gave him a good start, though Dad doesn’t remember doing it. July 24th is the auction date and the likely market will be antique dealers; so, collectors, mark your calendars and rent a U-Haul. Michigan in July isn’t a bad place to be. 

Not surprisingly, we have had some challenges on the health front. Dad has had pneumonia, fluid on his lungs, four blood transfusions, has learned to dislike overnights in Arlington Hospital while he likes the outpatient transfusion center a lot. The doctor’s offices and the hospital are only four minutes from the house, so they know us at valet parking.
 
Mother has done very well on Aricept, one of the older dementia/Alzheimer’s medications; her new neurologist wants us to increase the dose, add some vitamin E, and in three months try adding Namenda which is one of the newest medications for mid-to-severe dementia.

We do mini-adventures: drive by the World War II memorial; the old house in Severna Park(MD); Uncle Herbert’s and Aunt Maude’s house in Baltimore; and through Washington’s many suburbs and surrounding areas. We’ve had one visiting couple from Michigan and are looking forward to more. Y’all come see us.

Christmas 2006

The big news is Miss Dixie turns 90 on January 14, 2007. Yes, she would love to have a card from you! Interestingly, Roane County said she turned 90 on January 13 this year. Not true, her real birthday is yet to come!

Last year she wanted to know how old she was. I told her. “Wow,” she said.

Miss Dixie is still able to attend the Arlington County Day Care program. Technically, this program is just for individuals in the early stage of dementia. Mother is in an advanced stage, but is still able to function well enough to go to “school” in Arlington County.

Despite good health -- we’ve had our moments this year: cataract surgeries (bandages ripped off within an hour), skin cancer treatment, several urinary tract infections, pneumonia, and one scary fall in October. And, we’re practically on a first name basis with the Emergency Room staff. Life is still manageable -- but, I won’t kid you, it is wearing for me.

Briefly, here’s where we are in Mother’s disease cycle: stage 6 out of 7 stages, according to the Alzheimer’s Association. She currently asks about Dad several times a day. When she doesn’t like the answer, she makes up a story. She knows my name is Barbara, but doesn’t know that I am her daughter. At night, she often worries about feeding her horse – no, that’s not a typo. She still smiles and laughs, but can no longer smile on command for the camera, for example. She can still feed herself and walk, but I expect those skills to go at any time. When they do, she will have to leave the day care program and the next phase will be more complicated.

Most of all, more nights than not, she says, “Thank you,” when I tuck her into bed. That, of course, is why I do it all.

My greatest challenge this year was a hundred year rain that flooded the IRS, the Archives, and the addition to our house. At the time, Mother was also very sick with an infection that needed a different antibiotic. The blessing was that she slept through the actual flooding while I called everyone I knew to help. Eventually, I found a pump that would do the trick of running water down the driveway. (I now own the pump.) The two-year old wood floor was removed. I was afraid of mold and installed a new floor – stone, thank you. I think I’ve figured out the problem/s, but my level of confidence was not sufficient to re-do a wood floor.

Happily, most of the angst from that event is behind us and we continue to be enormously grateful to good friends who helped us out in so many ways.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday and New Year—

Love,
Dixie and Barbara