Stress of caregiving

The national news has reminded me once again of the stress of caregiving -- no matter how well we seem to handle it on the surface. Dana Reeve, the widow of quadriplegic actor Christopher Reeve, has announced that she has lung cancer. No, unlike me, she has never smoked.

I suspect that the stress may have contributed to an earlier death for my father, but I also know that he would not have had it any other way. This week is the first anniversary of his death. He was hospitalized on August 3 and died on August 11. In my head, this whole year I have replayed the tape in my head. Did I make the choices for him as I should have? Would another kind of decision have prolonged his life... in a positive way?

A beautiful thing has happened this week as an affirmation of the cyclical nature of life and being. A friend's daughter, Katie, has given birth to 2 robust little boys.

I was braced for this week to be difficult. Clearly it seems to me as though I hit my lowest spot as I put Mother into respite care and worried that I had left her in the hands of incompetents, e.g. sleeping care givers. By comparison, this week isn't as bad.